EXPERIENCING GOD THROUGH MUSIC
by Maria Elena Santos

 

 

Paul and Silas were singing to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly, there was a big earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundation, all prisoners fell "The jailer woke up to see the prison doors wide open" - Acts 16:25-27

When I first joined Lingkod, It was after a long period of existing without God, I hardly prayed and I was pretty sure I don’t know how to do it anymore. Thus, it was quite a surprise to find myself attending my first prayer meeting in Lingkod without really knowing how I got there and why but I knew that one of the reasons that made me come back is the beautiful music that Lingkod is singing during worship. When I first heard the songs sang I felt a curious tightening in my throat and a burning in my eyes. Of course, I thought for awhile that I was just getting colds or beginnings of a sore throat but I kept coming back every Friday night despite my resolve every morning not to go.

As the years of my stay in Lingkod passes by, I found myself truly praying. It started that I could never form the words to say what I mean but the words in the songs being sung seems to be an echo of what was in my heart and some songs suddenly becomes a message of Love from God to me personally. I was suddenly free to open my voice and sing aloud my yearnings, my joys, my sorrow, and my promises to the God and to sing in my own words the messages the Lord has for me personally to share. It started me praying and eventually it inspired me that prayer is not so hard after all. So it was not surprising that my service in Lingkod was in Music Ministry.

I always say I am not a singer, I am an artist, my talents, I believe was in the arts. But whenever I create music with the brothers and sisters in Lingkod and whenever our voices would reach the heights it was destined to go, I can always feel my heart rising to the music and my mind soaring with the notes that all of us created together seemingly with one heart and one message to our one true God. Serving in music ministry then is not something I do because I think I can be good at it but it has become a language to which I can reach out to those who need to hear the words. A Language to respond to God’s words that He has engraved in my heart. Then I realized that I needed the service more than it  needed me, it taught me that God is felt more strongly, more completely in the presence and relationships of each of the brothers and sisters that can only enhance the songs.

God is in the laughters we share as we practice together with the same drive to get the right melody to better sing the message of a particular song. God is in every brother and sister who struggles to practice a guitar or any instrument cheerfully amidst aching arms and fingers due to steel strings that could feel like needles in already abused fingers!! God is also in the laughters as we encourage each other that we could get the high notes, Croaking voices aside!!(Who says only climbing Mount Everest is high!!) God is in every cup of coffee served with just the right amount of cream and sugar by a sister or a brother in some of our practices. God is in every ensaymada or Spanish bread we would share from a  nearby bakery during break time. He is in the brother who even if he’s not feeling well he will still serve by playing the guitar for the brothers and sisters who will sing. God is simply there in the presence of each of us as we try to serve each other even by simply being there.

Sometimes during worship, We would feel the sheer force of God’s presence we would feel Goosebumps, the same tightening of our throats and a burning in our eyes because there is a feeling of joy and love when We hear the words of the Lord for us uttered so many times over and brought forth from so many other lips spontaneously, so beautifully! We would want to join it even if we are gifted with a singing voice or not. Doing the work assigned to us then goes beyond just choosing the right songs for the occasion, accompanying or singing it right. It is in the hope that like Paul and Silas singing in the prison, we could hope to set free our souls our voices from the many things that stop us from worshipping God. I use to be who were only listening but I witnessed my prison bars open and I was set free. Now I know I can also be another Paul and Silas as I know we have it in all of us to be just like them.

 

 

 

 

 

 "Even grains are grounded to make bread" - Isaiah 28:28

 

 

 

As they say life is a journey, and I believe that nobody goes on a journey unscathed. But anyone who chooses the right path though beaten and bruised turns out triumphant and fulfilled than ever. This is my own personal belief.

1999 was a big turning point in my life. My plans were all streamlining into where I want it to be. The things that I prayed for so far were all answered. Everything seemed okay. Until my endocrinologist convinced me to have the nodules in my thyroid taken out for it is rapidly getting bigger in size. The next thing I know, the doctors did a total thyroidectomy on me and I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

Hospital schedules are piling up now. A regular blood test is being made to determine that my dosage is enough for what my body requires, not to be deficient or excessive than my normal needs. In other words I have to be stabilized. But most importantly, I have to undergo a radioactive therapy to address the cancer cells in my thyroid. This would require for me to be isolated for one week, so no visitors are allowed because the effect of radiation is more harmful to those coming into the room.

I realized later that this one week of isolation is something that I needed in the past but was never addressed because of my busy schedule. This one week gave me ample time to reassess my life but what made it more special is that it became my intimate moment with the Lord… trusting Him with my life.

To trust somebody will take some time even years to establish. But to trust on someone that you cannot even see will take a great amount of faith. Trust as they say is not given freely but is earned, and trusting the Lord with our lives will require humbling ourselves to His Holy Presence and allowing His grace to take place. This is where I humbled myself and asked for the Lord’s mercy and strength, for on my own I will never survive, I only live because of His mercy.
 

 


I was broken and grounded like grains and the Lord asked me to give to Him all the broken, grounded pieces of my hurt, my pain, my frustrations, even my plans and dreams. By giving Him all the pieces, I need not cling to the past, but rather live in the present and look forward with expectant faith towards the future where He assured me He had already gone ahead and prepared for. I just need to trust Him and His plans for me. As always it was not easy. Seven months later I was being scheduled again for another operation, this time to extract solid nodules found in my right breast. My human frailties came flooding in again…doubts, fears, uncertainties. I struggled to all these negative emotions that slowly crept in. “God where are you?” One might ask. My prayer time kept me sane, the support and love of my family allowed me to hang on, the encouragement and loving company of my brothers and sisters in the community made me ponder on how great the love of the Father for allowing me to feel His presence among brethrens.

I realized further that even if God does not answer us, His silence is sometimes what is required for us to comprehend that in the process we are being pruned by His love to perfection, through patience, endurance and determination. Learning to take God at His words even His silence is the first step in establishing my trust for Him. Arming myself with God’s word and fully understanding the blessings that it entail is shielding myself from my human frailties.

Eight years have passed and my doctor declared that I have no more recurrence of cancer for 4 years now and I hang on to what lies ahead in the future with expectant faith. Temptation may come running in and out of my life but what I keep in my heart is the truth that God loves me. He gave up everything even His only Son, so he can have my love. And in my deepest hurt and brokenness I will always remember that Jesus Christ will always be willing to endure the pain of picking up the broken, grounded pieces so I can be whole again.

“But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance – character, and character – HOPE. Romans 5:3-4

Let us challenge the truth of our faith brothers and sisters!

To God alone be the glory!

- Pepot C. Alquisada

 

 

 

 

Sunday, September 2, 2007

God's Unending Miracles


God's Unending Miracles

by Mary Ann Luistro

Kamusta mga kapatid?

As promised, here's my testimonial regarding our CLP here in Dong Guan.

Year 2007, a group of Filipino's from CFC (Couples for Christ) in Guangzhou, China had their calling to extend their mission in China. They have been visiting other nearby cities to scout for a church. With the help of some nuns, they were able to tap 2 cities. Shenzhen and Dong Guan. They have seen that there are a lot of Filipinos in Shenzhen but there is something pulling them to go to Dong Guan. They were able to get a permit from the government and the parish priest allowed them to conduct the CLP inside the church.

I was still in the Philippines during that time and there came a time that I've been missing China so much! I wonder why? So what I did was to always grab some Chinese food together with my family. Then in my mind I’ve been thinking and hearing the word…Dong Guan (2 xs)... I asked God Why?

2nd quarter of February, my boss asked me to go back to China immediately for some new assignments. So I said to myself may be this is the reason. Then I found out about the CLP.

March 30, 2007; Saturday this is the second attempt of the facilitator to conduct Dong Guan CLP. Nobody attended but they keep on encouraging, inviting and advertising. They even courted the parish priest to help them in giving away some brochures. They found out it was only kept in one place... untouched.

April 1, Sunday. It is my first day in China. I've been wondering how I will find the Catholic Church in Dong Guan city.

April 7, 2007, Saturday. CLP's facilitators 3rd attempt. As for me, I still have some work that day but God is good for my boss allowed me to go and serve during that time. hehehe... confession... uminit po mga kapatid ang aking ulo dahil late po ng 2 hours ung brother na mag sundo sa kin para i guide ako going to church. (grin) Kahit pala andun din kami on time bale wala din kc wala pong participants. (hiyang hiya ako at sabi ko tinatawanan siguro ako ni LORD ngayon)

The following Sundays we kept on investigating/ praying when is the right day to hold the CLP. We found out it should be on Sundays because of the work schedule. For months, we’ve been praying and waiting. I uttered a prayer… Lord, can we start the CLP on my birthday? Can this be Your birthday gift for me?

Alas! A day after my birthday! June 3, 2007, our first CLP right after the 8:30 am Sunday mass. The facilitators targeted foreigners for we are still observing what will the Chinese locals think and also we take little steps if it’s okay with the priest and the government. Before starting we practiced several songs... Then we had few participants, 2 Filipinas and 4 brothers. Our target participant must be 15 foreigners but the attendees are only 6. I said, “Lord, did we fail?”

There were a group of Chinese inside the church I think they are discussing something (group of male, female and children). BIGLANG BUMUHOS ANG MALAKAS NA ULAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, kindly imagine bro's & sis. Na trap kaming lahat sa simbahan!!!!! There's this one lady she was about to go out and she can’t for it is raining heavily!!! In short, they are forced to stay inside the church. (hahaha) Imagine 50 participants agad!!! Galing! Galing ni Lord!!! I said, yes! This is your birthday gift for me!!!

We are practicing English songs that time and then they joined us. Imagine? They don’t know the song because it is English. But they listened and joined us by clapping... Then a Chinese male who stayed with us translated the English song in Chinese. They liked it... stayed longer and listened. It was the Holy Spirit who guided us and blessed us with an instant interpreter from the participants! I can still remember their eagerness… the hunger for God’s wisdom… the awe in their eyes… the joy in their face… the warmth of their acceptance…

Our meal for that day came. It was given by a very generous Filipina (married to a British husband) in Dong Guan. She promised that she will be the one in charge for the food for the whole CLP. "From start to finish" She is also the host of the speakers/ facilitators from Guangzhou. (Guangzhou is like Manila and Dong Guan is like Lipa, Batangas... that far) A male bro who's been on vacation promised that he will cook the food. Then a sis assisted in packing. Parang food sa plane ang aming lunch kc it’s a complete meal with drinks, salad and dessert!!! We are truly blessed for God assigned people. There’s the food committee, greeters, evangelizers, speakers, music min, translator!

How the CLP is being conducted here? It’s a simultaneous talk from English then translated to Chinese. We had English and Chinese outline of the talk. English and Chinese songs. Amazing!!! We are blessed for a sis from Guangzhou who’s very fluent in English and Chinese and she can sing excellently!!! Soprano!!!

I realized... Lord, wala naman akong ginawa dito eh. Ni hindi ko nga na lift ung finger ko biglang instant eto na! Ni hindi ko man lang naisip ung ibang bagay, biglang may sagot agad!!! Ang galing mo Lord! Sobra!!! PERFECT!!!

CLP continued... and WE ARE GROWING EVERY WEEK!!!!!!!!!!! From 50 to 75!!! And 40 plus participants were maintained. Nawala po ako ng ilang lingo due to work but still God is performing miracles upon us… upon me…

I would like to add up miracles that God poured upon her spoiled brat daughter (hehe).
The president of the company whom I’ve worked for 5 yrs already mentioned, “you are such a lucky person and I uttered in my heart… no, I am over blessed by God!” Why?
1. I was able to get 10yrs multiple business and tourist visa to US.
2. I had extended trips in US – traveled to L.A., North Carolina and Las Vegas
3. Had time for leisure trips
4. My hotel room was upgraded to… PRESIDENTIAL SUITE!
5. I was able to visit and checked the booth of our rival manufacturers in the lighting show in US without even being interrogated. Some even gave me a lot of free and good stuff during the show.

These are all answered prayers. All I asked God was… Lord, may this trip be a testimony to my boss that you exist.

I was out for 2 weeks due to work. Pag balik ko po, I am overwhelmed how things are going... Then biglang nagkaroon ng di inaasahang balita on my part...

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer... Biglang huminto ang mundo ko. Para akong nilindol at binagyo!!! For 2 days I can’t utter a word… Though I don’t want to ask God but in my mind it continually played…” I thought Lord you said all will be well? Why is it that my mom has cancer now?” I was too weak, kept on crying and can’t eat. But still God grant grace for he is pushing me to grab an inspiring book “Mary of Nazareth”.

My instant decision upon hearing the news was for me to go back to Philippines. After 2 days, I called my parents. I sensed they are weak and that’s the time I said to myself I have to be strong for my family. I need to regain strength, finish my work then go home. I asked for a leave but too bad GM is on vacation. So I waited and finished my tasks. I told people in the church that I will be away for a while for my mom is sick. I am touched when the Chinese participants said… “We will pray for your mom we hope she will be ok. Jesus will heal her.” Still in my mind am trying to imagine the scene that she will have mastectomy and chemo therapy. So I planned to list stuff that she might need. I want everything to be comfortable for her. I’ve been asking people from the house when is my mom’s operation. Though am scared for her, I told them that mommy needs to be operated ASAP for am scared that the cancer cells might spread.

I was hesitant to serve in the CLP for I know I am weak. But God grant grace and spoiled me that weekend for He gave me brothers who spoiled me so much!!! They carry my bag, bring me to the park, always crack jokes that made my jaw ache, treat me pizza and send me home. I can’t forget they’re words… “Ops ops mga boys lang (in paying the bills) and hindi ihahatid ka namin pauwi. Gabi na at isa pa nagiisa ka lang babae pa naman.” (my place is 30 mins away from their place and it’s costly. I missed the brothers in Lingkod but God gave me brothers in China!!!

Aug.24, 2007 mommy’s scheduled operation. But she had it postponed. Instead, she went to a healing nun in tagaytay. When I found out what my mom did, it became a wake up call for me. Yeah! Why is it that I am too afraid and too problematic about the incident? I have a God who can heal my mom!!! That night I prayed, cried and pleaded God to spear the life of my mom. Then stories in the Bible keep on flashing in my mind… the mother with a daughter with hemorrhage, the centurion man who pleaded God to heal his servant, the woman with a hemorrhage who touched the cloak of Jesus and was healed. I felt that Jesus is telling me… Me-an, where is your faith? Then the story of Peter when he followed Jesus on the sea… Yes, where is my faith? I uttered a prayer.

“Jesus, you said ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened unto you… so now, I am asking, pleading you, please heal my mom! I am asking you O Father as a daughter to heal and spear the life of my mom! You can touch her right now O Jesus and she will be healed. You can say it and she will be healed. A single blow or a snap can make her heal. You can bind her cancer cells and placed it under the foot of your holy cross and it will be gone. I believe O Lord in your power!
As your servant, I am asking and pleading you… but it’s up to you now. May Your Holy will be done unto my mother. I know and I am confident she will be healed! Then our Father said, “I am a not a God who will give you a snake when you ask for fish”.

After that prayer, I’ve been confident and happy. I don’t know but all I can say is that my heart is smiling again. I am back! Yes! God regained my strength!!! God grant me grace to believe that He can heal mommy!!!

Aug. 25, 2007. Papa took the result of my mom’s mammogram. The result…NEGATIVE! I was very happy and I wanted to jump!!! But I’m a bit confused on how I feel… In my heart I know there is a 17% doubt and in my mind I wanted to ask… Is it true Lord? You healed my mom? (May be this time our Lord is raising an eye brow to me. Hahaha!!!)

Aug. 26, 2007 CLP graduation! All of the bro’s and sis even the Chinese are asking how is your mother? Then I said, she was healed!!! From the mammogram result, there is no cancer! NEGATIVE!!! When I was telling this to my bro’s and sis in Dong Guan church, they are so happy. Some got teary eyed. Others got goose bumps. Then I question myself, why I didn’t react that way? May be that 17%, I am scared what if it the result was wrong? Then a sister said, claim it Me-an claim it!!!

Yes!!! 22 participants graduated from the CLP which consists of 13 females, 6 males and 3 Pinoy brothers! But during the graduation, 50 local Chinese attended. It was held in Guangzhou for we have a bigger hall there. We hired bus to bring them to Guangzhou. It’s 1 hour and 30 minutes time travel from Dong Guan to Guangzhou.
We had Filipino visitors also including 2 Filipino priests from Cebu! And Filipino food from Cebu too!!! Yes!!! We had confession during the last talk of the CLP. I went to confession also and mentioned to father about my faith that 17% doubt in my heart. I will not forget what he said, “If I am God though I am only human, I will tell you… don’t you know that I am only kidding on you?” Then I imagined may be God winked on me and smiled. Father is also teary eyed.

Father, the Filipino priest, shared my mom’s story during his homily in Guangzhou Cathedral. He was surprised for he thought the people who will be attending the mass are the one present during the CLP. He thought may be around 75 to a 100 people only. But no, the whole Cathedral was jam packed by foreigners and Chinese for that is the only English mass every Sunday. Of course father wasn’t allowed to celebrate the mass in the Cathedral but he was able to give homily.

From Guangzhou, we went back to Dong Guan to attend the 10pm underground mass in Dong Guan. It was a very memorable event in my life for it is an answered prayer… a prayer that I’ve been praying for 2 years already. I’ve been asking, Lord, I hope I can attend an underground mass in China. The setting of our mass, the dining table was turned into an altar and we are seated around the table just like the last supper! Yes we are 12! The foreign husband of our generous Filipina (food committee) also joined us in the mass. I was blessed to know that he is a Protestant before and was converted to Catholic! The husband supported all of the wife’s religious activities!!! Amen!

During the homily, the priest asked us to share about our life experiences here and how God is working in our lives. From the sharing, I was able to know how our Lord is transforming the lives of everyone that the brothers are very happy and felt that they are floating in the air for they were able to finish and graduated with awards in the CLP, won their basketball game even if they are not in the game for they chose the CLP and asked God bahala ka na sa game. The brother’s word was… “ang basketball parati kong malalaro yan, pero ang CLP minsan lang ako makaka graduate”

As for me, I shared all of the miracles that God blessed me. There are no words that can truly express my joy! If you imagine a clear glass with an ice cream, then God poured a coke… It creates foam it is overflowing, spilling and I said Lord it is overflowing already… spilling! Then God said it is not enough my dear it is not enough… Then He keeps on pouring the coke. Sometimes I asked myself, am I dreaming Lord?

Our generous Filipina and her foreign husband now realized why his husband was assigned in China for they are already settled in Cebu. She said, now we are able to see the panoramic view why we are brought here in China.

God is so great! So perfect!!! We had it all!!! PERFECT!!!
It was an answered prayer again to have a Filipino priest visitor in China. We received grace from confession. Others even shared that this is his first time again to go to confession after 8 years. And he said the feeling is different. Para daw nahugasan ang kasalanan nya. Yes, there is grace upon going to confession!!!
All of these are answered prayers! A miracle that happened in my life. An awesome blessing! All of the people who heard about my story said… You are so blessed and loved by God! I know I need to do more… more tasks for His greater glory!!!

Thank you for your prayers my beloved brothers and sisters! My mom would like to extend her thanks to all of you. She was deeply touched when I told her that all of my friends from Lingkod, CFC, Opus Dei and Dong Guan CLP (Chinese locals) are praying for her.

Now I understand the vision I had 2 years ago… about the lights. It was night and the only light that I can see was the tree lights apart from each other. They form a triangle if you connect the lights together. Before, I wonder about it. But now, God revealed it to me. The 3 lights are the 3 communities who have been praying for one another. Lingkod, CFC and Opus Dei. Now I am in CFC-Singles but still treasure the memories, lessons and values I learned in Lingkod. Opus Dei in Macau (2.5 hours by bus, part of China, like Hong Kong) is a center from where God allowed me to attend recollection and have spiritual direction once a month.

From what Pope John Paul 2 said, “Filipino’s are the light of Asia.”
And from what father, our Filipino visitor priest mentioned before we depart that night… “You are in the fore front and we are only in the Philippines to pray for you.”

God fulfilled His promise to me when I accepted His call for me to go back to China… “All will be well my daughter… all will be well..”

Let’s continue to pray for one another bro’s and sisters. This is not the end but only the beginning! May our Lord reigns in our hearts forever!!! May we bring His light to the ends of the earth! We are truly the Light of the World and Salt of the Earth!!! All is well… all is well!!! Amen!

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